Phantom Devilry
by AzaleaBloom
Summary: Just a bunch of random shenanigans between the Phantom Thieves. This is more meant to be a funny playful thing, but maybe it'll have some actual plot sometimes. Right now it just mainly focuses on Akira, Morgana, Ryuji, and Ann. The other characters may show up later. I apologize for anyone being OOC, I'm still trying to get use to their personalities.
1. Sick Sugar & Caffeine High

A/N: This whole conversation is based on something that happened between me and my friends. I though it would kind of fit in with these characters, so I'm sorry if some of the characters are OOC I'll try to fix it ASAP- ;u;

For future reference:

Ryuji = Cap'n Vulgar

Ann = Clover

Akira = Phantom Floof

* * *

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

Yo, shorty.

heard you were sick today how u holdin up?

 **Clover:**  
Yeah, I'm alright. Sitting in bed all day in nice, especially considering the weather.

Wait-

Did you just claim I was short?

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

yup

because you are

 **Clover:**

I'm like only 3 inches or so shorter than you though-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

still shorter-

 **Clover:**

Hey I'm sick give me a break, lol

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

nah, nobody get's a break

sick people get it worse-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Wow man-

Anyways, you doing alright Ann?

Also, remind me to be a total ass when someone else gets sick, because apparently that's how the world works-

 **Clover:**

Yeah I guess. . .

I got cookies nearby so I'll be fine~!

I hope. ;u;

 **Phantom** **Floof:**  
Lol

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

lol, i got you kira

i finally came down from my coffee high

 _holy shit that was an interesting experience_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

:0

"finally"? Holy shit man-

 **Clover:**

Right-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 _that was fucking great~_

i need more of that coffee-

Akira hook me up-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Dang-

Ann has her cookies and now you have coffee-

The world can't handle this shit man, I'm not gonna be the cause of the end of the world by giving you more coffee-

 **Clover:**

Yup!

Oh, I just remembered!

I have an ice cream sundae too~

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 ** _The world is doomed-_**

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 _you must be fun at parties, huh kira-_

i want an ice cream sundae, wanna share?

 **Clover:**

Hmm...

Nah

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

I'm just trying to save y'all from yourselves-

 _And that sundae isn't being shared knowing Ann-_

 **Clover:**

You know me so well~ XD

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Mhmm

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

I wanna share

I want ice cream

I NEED ICE CREAMMM

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Chill-

Are you sure you're off your coffee high?

 **Clover:**

You're so far away though.

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

i'm pretty sure it's gone kira-

so what?

 **Clover:**

It's probably gonna melt…?

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

not if u keep it in a cooler

and u take train

won't take u long to reach here

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

That's a lot of work just to get some ice cream don't ya think-

 **Clover:**

Yeah-

I'm just going to go get my ice cream now-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

we r no longer cool

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Damn-

 **Clover:**  
You wound me-

I have no words for how hurt I am rn-

God its so hot today.

That ice cream helped a lot though. -w-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Yeah it is-

 **Clover:**

I don't understand this weather!

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Weather is a bitch.

 **Clover:**

Yes it is.

I covered myself with black sheets, this is not okay. . .

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _Why do that to yourself?!_

 **Clover:**

My horrible logic-

 **Floof:**

Well then-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 ** _GOD DAMN PROTEIN SHAKES TASTE AWFUL_**

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Speaking of horrible logic-

 **Clover:**

lol

Of course they do.

 **Floof:**

What did you expect?

You know just because it has "shake" in its name doesn't mean it'll be like a milk shake-

 **Clover:**

Akira-

 _Oh my god, child no, that was bad-_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

RIP me then-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 _Akira, the hell man-_

my mom bought some the other day and I decided to try it

holy shit they taste terrible

 **Clover:**

They make it terrible so you think it actually helps-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Why did you think that was a good idea. . .?

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

i was curious okay

i never had one so i wanted to try it

 **Clover:**

HOLD UP-

 _Never?! YOU never tried one?!_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _The more you know~ :0_

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

yeah never

i've seen the other guys drink it before tho. . .

 _now I'm just wondering WHY-_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

That's me rn tbh-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 _ **GOD THAT PROTEIN SHAKE ISN'T SITTING WELL I THINK I'M GONNA VOMIT.**_

 _ **i'm gonna need a doctor-**_

 _ **somebody call 911 please-**_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _I would, but you seem sick-_

 **Clover:**

lol

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

What did I do to deserve this? I'm a pure and innocent boy!

 **Clover:**

PURE?! BOY, YOU BETTER BE JOKING. B|

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _You said sick people get it worse~_

I like how you actually used proper grammar to say that though, nice try-

 **Clover:**

Akira, oh my God-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

shut it nobody needs to know!

 **Clover:**

 _It's just karma, sweet, sweet, karma~_

Maybe take a pill to help ease the pain?

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Karma's a bitch-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

i don't think there's any around that would help-

i just have a lot of complaining to do. . .

 **Clover:**

I don't know what else to say then Ryuji-

 **Phantom** **Foof:**

So basically nothing new-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

pretty much. . .

Wait, I don't complain a lot!

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _Whatever you saaaaay-_

 **Clover:**

Akira, please stop-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

yeah, i feel so attacked rn-

 **Clover:**

 _. . .That's your own fault there buddy boy-_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**  
I'm sorry-

The heat is getting to me, these are all horrible attempts of jokes-

Don't mind me-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

i just realized that I complain a lot-

because holy shit It's hot, the dryer is on my mom has the heater on for some god awful reason in this fucking heatwave-

i'm fucking dying over here-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

1- "just"? After that whole thing, really now-

2- _**WHY THE FUCK-**_

 **Clover:**

I agree with both points, but-

I have never seen Akira loose so much shit in one day. XD

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _Everyone is dying, this includes me as well-_

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 ** _that shake fucked me up_**

 **Clover:**

It's probably food poisoning?

If you're stomach really hurts that much. . .

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Okay, maybe you really should really stop by a clinic or something?

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

to poor...

and too lazy...

and don't feel like putting on clothes...

well clothes for going outside-

 **Clover:**

o.o

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Okay then-

Your funeral-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

shhhhhush with those nasty thoughts children-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _wut?_

 **Clover:**

 _Have no idea what you're going on about-_

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

such impure thoughts are not welcome here-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 ** _Gooooooodnight everybody-_**

 **Clover:**

What do you mean~?

 _Akira don't goooooo~_

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

 _you r the only sane one here, we need you~_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**  
 _That's why I have to go-_

 **Clover:**

Excuse you, I'm perfectly sane!

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

stop with your lies-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

I wanna keep my sanity to my self-

 **Clover:**

Lol

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Goodbye cruel world-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**  
we killed kira-

 **Clover:**  
RIP our floofy haired leader-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**  
since he's gone i call being new leader

 **Clover:**

You? Please, I'm more qualified-

Akira would've wanted a more qualified person to take his place don't ya think?

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 _Why are you acting like I'm actually dead?_

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

nah, he'd want someone with experience to lead, you're still new to this whole gig-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

 ** _Wouldn't that be Morgana tho?_**

 **Clover:**

That still wouldn't be you idiot-

 _That means a cat is more qualified than you-_

And I know Morgana would agree I am the more qualified one out of me and you~!

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

that's only because you r a girl

 **Phantom** **Floof:**

Uh-

 _Children please, that cat is still more qualified-_

 **Clover:**

Ouch-

Why you gotta be so rude-

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**

that hurts man-

 **Phantom** **Floof:**  
Just stating facts here-

Anyways, as much as I'd love to see you two actually argue about this. It's really late, go to freaking sleep.

 **Cap'n Vulgar:**  
Like I said earlier, _you must really be fun at parties kira-_

 **Phantom** **Floof:**  
Shut up-


	2. Hot Dog

A/N: This is also based on events that happened between me and my own friends. Um, I should explain a few things. 1- I'm not that very far in P5, so for a long while I'll be mainly writing stories between Akira, Morgana, Ryuji, and Ann since they're the characters I've gotten used to most. ( _But man I want to do a dumb story involving the art child and introducing him to Ōkami so baaaaad, because for some reason I think it'll be funny._ ) 2- Honestly, since these are dumb friendly drabbles, I'm up to taking suggestions for this story if anyone has any. Don't be scared to ask, I'll probably take it up, but no promises I can't even keep up with my own ideas. Anyways, I'm sorry for the long note, enjoy this dumb story I have to share!

* * *

"I honestly thought the heat would've died down by now," Akira groaned, while leaning on the door that was currently not in use, "This is torture."

"Yeah, but hey at least we're not packed in like fish in here," Ryuji sighed.

"True," Akira said.

Ann was staying rather silent, quietly observing the two boys. She then gasped a bit, making the two jump, and Morgana pop out of Akira's bag and land on a seat.

"W-what happened?!" Morgana asked.

"A pomeranian," Ann muttered, "That seems to fit."

"Um, Ann," Ryuji said, "You doing alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking," Ann replied with a nervous giggle.

"What about?" Akira asked.

"Um, what kind of dogs you guys would be," Ann replied softly, "I was bored."

"Oh, okay," Akira replied.

"Why dogs, why not felines?" Morgana muttered, thus gaining him a nose boop from Akira.

"That doesn't matter," Akira said before he turned back to Ann, "So, what did you come up with?"

"Ummm. . .I thought you'd be a pom-" Ann replied before being interrupted by a loud laugh.

"A pom?!" Ryuji laughed, " _Those small things_?"

Akira just lowered his head into his hand, and let out a soft sigh.

"It's because he has fluffy hair okay!" Ann retaliated, "So then I though of fluffy dogs, and then it just popped up."

"I mean, it's not the worst dog I can be compared to," Akira said, "They're nice."

"How tiny are these dogs?" Morgana asked.

"Morgana please don't-" Akira said.

" _Like 8 inches tall_ ," Ryuji laughed.

"Wait, you didn't even hear what I compared you to yet Ryuji," Ann sang.

"Oh," Ryuji said, "What is it?"

"A corgi," Ann replied, "I feel like that fits nicely."

"That's not bad at all to be honest," Ryuji said.

"Neither is a pom, but you gave it so much bull," Akira sighed.

"What's a corgi?" Morgana asked.

"Have you ever seen wiener-dogs?" Akira replied.

Morgana nodded his head in response.

"Basically a furrier one of those," Akira said.

"I never thought of them that way before," Ann laughed.

"So Ryuji would be a furry hot dog?" Morgana asked.

Ann and Akira began to laugh as Ryuji and Morgana began to bicker. That's when the train pulled into the next stop. Suddenly the door Akira had been leaning on opened, catching him off guard and causing him to almost fall into a crowd of people. Luckily, Ann quickly pulled Akira forward before he could make a complete fool of himself.

"Oh how the mighty have almost fallen," Morgana sighed.

"Oh my god, Akira you almost died," Ann snickered.

"Thanks for saving me," Akira groaned, "I didn't expect it to change doors so suddenly."

"That's karma," Ryuji snapped.

"What did I do?!" Akira asked.

" _You know what you did_ ," Ryuji said.

"If I did I wouldn't be asking!" Akira snapped.

"I guess someone is still upset that he was compared to a furry hot dog," Ann sighed as she shook her head, "Can't be helped."

"I was just asking a clarifying question," Morgana said sticking his tail up high and turning his head away, "I am innocent in all of this."

"And I was just clarifying his earlier question," Akira groaned, "I didn't deserve that."

"Yeah sure," Ryuji said.

"To be fair, it's honestly my fault," Ann said, "I was the one thinking of people as dogs after all."

"Lady Ann, what dog would you and I be?" Morgana asked.

"Okay, I swear I won't make any more side commentary," Akira said, "I don't want more _"karma"_."

"I'm not making any promises," Ryuji muttered earning him a jab from Akira, "Okay, okay, fine. I'll keep my mouth shut too."

"Oh, well," Ann muttered, "Well, I'd probably be a English Cocker Spaniel, and you'd be a. . .um. . . a Papillon?"

"Wait, I know I agreed not to say anything, _but Morgana why are you asking if you probably don't know what those breeds are?_ " Akira asked.

"We can look them up later, so I wanted to ask now before I forget," Morgana replied.

" _I just remembered a pom is still smaller than a Papillon_ ," Ryuji laughed.

"Shut uuuuuuup," Akira whined.

"You know, I'll just upgrade Akira to a Portuguese Water Dog now that I think more about it," Ann said.

"Oh my god, thank you," Akira said.

"Aw, come on. You're getting rid of good teasing material," Ryuji whined.

"If it's just gonna be a bunch of short jokes, that's just lame," Ann said, "It's not like Akira is actually short or anything."

"Nah, the funny part is poms usually like to fight bigger dogs, don't they?" Ryuji replied, "I honest to god think that fits with each of us. Also imagining a pom with glasses is nice."

"Stooooooooop," Akira cried, "I can't deal with this."

"Whelp, when you put it like that. . ." Ann said, "I can kinda see it."

"Ann. Ann no," Akira said, "That's bad. Stop."

"Now I really can't stop seeing it," Ann laughed, "Oh my god, Akira, you whining about it is not making this any better."

"Never mind what I said earlier, I'd much rather be trampled to death right now," Akira groaned.

"Aww, don't be like that," Ann said, "It's funny when you're mad~!"

Akira just glared back in response.

"You should see him when he's playing Mario Party 10, it's like he's a whole different person," Ryuji laughed, "I never knew someone could hate a game so much in just one sitting of playing it."

"Oh my god, I saw his eyes turn a darker shade of grey," Ann laughed.

" _Bowser Mode is fucking rigged_ ," Akira growled.

"Yet you still lost when you were Bowser," Ryuji sighed, "Sorry to disappoint, but you're just not as lucky when it come to those kinds of games."

"Just please, stop talking," Akira pleaded, " _L_ _et me ride the train in peace._ "

Unfortunately for Akira the rest of the ride was spent continually making dog jokes and commenting on how bad he was at Mario Party.


	3. Pom-p It Up! (Part 1?)

A/N: Whelp, kinda consider this a continuation of the last chapter, maybe I'll continue with this path for a while if you guys are okay with that? Also, I have projects to do, and I really shouldn't be writing, buuut here I am! Why can't I write essays like stories? So sorry if the chapter is pretty short. By like June 10th or so I'll probably be less busy. . .high school sucks. ;u; Anyways, enjoy~!

* * *

Akira stormed out of the train, finally able to listen to the sound of everything other than Ryuji and Ann around him. Usually, he wouldn't mind it, but _there were so many topics they touched that it actually kind of stung._

"I can't believe they had soooo much to say," Akira sighed.

"You gotta admit it was funny though," Morgana chuckled.

Akira simply responded with a strong flick against Morgana's head.

"Hey! It's not my fault you're not cool all the time!" Morgana retaliated.

Morgana then earned another flick to the head.

"This is abuse!" Morgana whined.

"You're causing me mental abuse, now we're even," Akira growled.

Akira walked out of the subway and started to head to the cafe until he heard a small whine from an alleyway.

"You heard that too, right?" Morgana asked.

Akira nodded his head in response as he walked in the direction of the noise. What Akira found was a little cardboard box with faded writing, and a small black lump of fur inside.

"You have got to be kidding," Akira sighed, "Someone just left it here to. . ."

"You think it's dead?" Morgana asked as he popped out from the bag to get a closer look.

"Probably, depends on how long it's been out here," Akira responded, "And if it's even breathing."

Akira placed his hand on the creature's back trying to sense if it was breathing or not.

"Well. . .it's not responding, but it's has a faint heartbeat," Akira sighed, "Jeez, why do people just do this?"

"So, what are we gonna do about it? We can't just leave it here now that we know," Morgana asked.

"We can't exactly take it with us," Akira said, "Pretty sure Sojiro won't allow me to have another. . . um. . . sorry to call you this, but pet. We're not even sure if it's a cat, dog, or something else yet."

"Well, then pick it up," Morgana said, "We should at least know what we're dealing with."

Akira picked up the small creature, and it let out another weak whimper in response. After examining it for a little while, _Akira then almost wanted to drop the thing and run._

"It's a freaking. . ." Akira groaned, "It's a Pomeranian."

" _Oooh, the irony,_ " Morgana sang, "Wait till Ryuji and Lady Ann hear about this."

"Don't you dare," Akira growled.

"Okay, okay," Morgana said, "So what do we do about it. Take it to a shelter?"

"Shelters are. . .worse than this," Akira replied hastily cradling the dog in his arms.

"How so?" Morgana asked, "Aren't they suppose to keep strays off the streets?"

"Yeah, but when the shelter gets crowded," Akira sighed, "They um. . .kill off the animals to make space."

"What?!" Morgana screeched, "Akira we have our next targets!"

"Morgana, we need names first," Akira sighed, "That and it's not like it's only one place where it's allowed either, it happens almost everywhere."

"Dang it," Morgana muttered.

"Anyways, I guess it needs food," Akira sighed as he stared at the box, "Wait a minute, maybe we can at least have a name for the one who abandoned this guy."

Akira crouched down, and used one hand to pick the box up and searched for any kind of sign of an address of name. All he found was a scratched out postage sticker. None of the printing was legible.

" _Smart-ass_ ," Akira growled, "They probably tried to avoid getting a fine."

"Whelp, that sucks," Morgana sighed, "Anyways, food?"

"Oh, yeah," Akira said as he got up, "Ugh, I feel bad about just buying dog food for it though, but I don't know what it can eat without getting sick."

"We can just look it up, right?" Morgana asked.

"I suppose," Akira said, "Actually, maybe feeding it something quick now, and give it more later might be better. That and we could probably hide it for a day or two"

"Yeah, 'cause we've been just standing here for a while," Morgana said, "The poor thing must be starving by now."

"Yeah," Akira sighed, "Do you mind having to share space in the bag for a while?"

"Nah, it's alright," Morgana replied, "Ryuji was right, they're really tiny."

Akira groaned for a bit, recollecting the memories on the train before safely storing the small dog in his bag. Morgana jumped in afterwards.

"To the store!" Morgana cried.

"To the store," Akira echoed.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so since we now have an unnamed dog, if anyone has any good names for it, I'd appreciate the suggestion! It's okay if no one has any though, I'll probably think of something then.


End file.
